1. It is socially unacceptable for a man to hit a woman, due to them often being perceived as weak. Therefore, they have gender immunity (until they marry into an abusive relationship).
2. Women CAN strike men across the face if they touch them in an unsavory manner. However, when a women attempts to feel up on whatever a guy's workin' with, the man is forced to to either run away or allow the woman to cop a feel.
That right: Sexual harassment is all well and good for women.
3. Apparently, they're generally smarter. However, I'm certain that is becoming an outdated assumption seeing as, in 2008, about 40% of children in the U.S. were born to unwed mothers.
Now really, ladies. Society loves to cast a tragic picture of men seducing women into the bedroom, then subsequently leaving them high and dry when that tell-all bump develops in their midriff.
However, it's fairly easy situation to avoid: If he doesn't have a condom, he doesn't get on top of you.
4. When a divorce takes place, they get half of everything. That's in addition to child support if you lacked foresight and made a kid or two back when you were young, stupid, and horny.
Men, don't have kids until you're at least 25. There are some fantastic inventions that can assist in whetting your appetite for pootang until that age comes around.
Same for you women. Many guys can wait, but it's rather difficult when you keep flashing the goods all over the place.
Not that we'll be objecting anytime soon.
5. Men are required to pay for every occasion.
Movies? $14.50. And that's without the popcorn and drinks. Hopefully your lady friend has a massive handbag that can fit a few drinks and snacks.
Dinner? About 30 bucks. Because you're automatically considered a jerk if you go to McDonald's on a date.
Ladies, how about taking the guys out to dinner? Really, we can be happy with the Dollar Menu.
6. Woman want sex? Woman get sex. Multiple times. However and whenever she wants it.
Man want sex? Man gets "Aww baby, I'm too tired!" or "Can't you do it yourself?" or "But we just did it 13 minutes ago!".
Excuses.
Ladies, when you want a piece of the action, we don't give a damn if we've just crawled into the door at 4 AM after a 12-hour shift at work. The instant you say "It's business time", the pants drop down, the little soldier stands ready, and the boat starts a rockin'.
Yes, it's common knowledge that men have an energy reserve that's allocated solely for sex. Much like how no matter how full you are, there's always room for dessert.
But would it kill you to return the favor once in a while?
After all, we did just spend $30 on your Caesar salad.
7. Women can be sexy at a very wide range of waist sizes.
Don't lie, guys: You've all seen that chick that's a bit more full-figured than average, but is still rather hot.
"More cushion for the pushin'" indeed.
But more often than not, it's not even about the sex. On average, it seems that fuller-figured women just tend to be nicer people than their obsessively calorie-counting counterparts.
Now of course, there's a lot to be said for healthy choices when eating. However, with an active lifestyle, it shouldn't be a crime if you enjoy a Double Beef and Cheese Burrito once in a while.
Go ahead.
8. Women get so many damn sales on stuff specifically for them.
Working at a retail store myself, it's funny to see how the clearances on outerwear for women could fill and entire section.
However, what's available for men can usually be confined to a single rack. And usually, they're shirts that only the most penny-pinching of guys would wear, for the sake of preserving their dignity.
Retailers, guys enjoy sales on things besides power tools.
We like shopping for clothes, shoes, and undergarments. Nevermind that pants are often present only so we can hang them below the aforementioned undergarments. When we rebel against society's oppressive social order that demands we don a belt, we wish to look good when doing so.
9. Girl? Playing video games? Insta-sexy.
Really. Any girl that can play God of War II, and enjoy it, is automatically an object of lust.
God forbid you actually beat manage to best us in a multiplayer game. In the event such a thing happens, you are then upgraded to sex symbol.
But what do guys have to do to be insta-sexy?
Kiss other guys.
While you ladies can twiddle a control stick for your hotness, we men are forced to bat around an entirely different...
...You get the point.
10. You live longer.
Don't know why. Don't know how.
Some have said it's because men work so much harder.
Others have said that God gave women increased longevity to ensure they were around for as long as the man needed them.
Whatever the case, it's just not fair. Women have about five more years than men to enjoy their social security benefits.
That's in addition to their spouse's life insurance, once the poor fellow kicks the bucket.
I suppose the whole "ladies first" thing doesn't apply here.
For those of you who have the opposing views, you might enjoy Men are Better Than Women. Or even The Alphabet of Manliness.
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